Monday, May 2, 2011

Thoughts on Marriage

 I just got back from my brother Andy's wedding in Virginia. It was a WONDERFUL weekend, full of fun, laughter and a lot of love.

Needless to say, being home in Richmond sparked a lot of thinking about family, love, marriage, and the like. So expect a lot of wedding/love/marriage related posts this week. I have an entire mental stockpile of them.

Juli and Andy's wedding wasn't traditional. Instead, it was infused with every detail of their personalities, both as individuals and as a couple. More on that later, but one thing that stood out was the reading they selected for the ceremony. I'm accustomed to a religious reading from the Bible and they chose something different.

I'd like to share it with you today. These were the vows Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward exchanged at their wedding.

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward
Las Vegas, Nevada; January 29, 1958

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. 

A good marriage must be created. 

In the Art of Marriage: The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. 

It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. 

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. 

It is finding room for the things of the spirit. 

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. 

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner. 


  1. awwwwww so glad you posted this! Thank you. xooxox

  2. We had that poem read at our wedding too! I have them framed in our bedroom as a little reminder. . .