Santa Letters, Part II

I can't  help it. As much as I loathe typing these, I'm addicted. They crack me up.

Dear Santa

How are you doing? You are probably wondering if I have been bad or good. To be honest, I have been bad in school. I talk a lot in school. I want my family for Christmas and pops wants the same thing. 

Love

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Dear Santa,

How is Mrs.Clouse and the elves doing. I have been good. Santa can you please give me a bike and my mom a new car? Santa you are a super good man to everybody that is what makes you special to me.

Your friend,

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

How are you and Mrs. Clause? I have been good becase I use my mamers. Could I have a geny lamp for Christmas and my sister a Mr. Beiber watch. Thank you for reading my letter.

Your friend,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

Hi Santa how are your elves? I think I’ve been good but I’m not sure. I think I’ve been good because I have not got in trouble since yesterday. Can I please have a cell phone and my brother a tablet? Tahnk you for reading my letter.

Love,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

Hello Santa. How is Mrs. Clause? I have been good every day. Santa I have to ask you some thing. How do you bring all of the presents in one night? Santa can you bring me a bike? And my friend can you get her a little kichen set so I can play chef with her? Can you bring me that stuff? Thank you Santa. I can’t wait for you to put our presents under are tree. Thank you.

My friend,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

How are you doing? I’ve been good because I want presents. I want paint and my brother wants an ipod. Thank you for the presents Santa.

Love

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

A lot of people donot believe in  you but I do. You are the best person in the whole word. I love you very much. I love you becaes you do a lot of work to make the presents for us. Can you pleas give me these things

A camoe tent

A 44 pistool

A 410

A rifool

A 12. Gage

A pistol

A logage

A 20 gage

Love,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

I know you’ve been watching me to see if I’ve been good or bad. Oh Santa guess what Zane did. He wrote “Jacie I hope you have a great Friday.” So Santa how is Mrs. Clause is she doing well? I hope she is. I’ve been doing all my homework. I’ve been helping people in need. And I’ve been fed my dog.

I love you so very much! I love Christmas too. I love my elf. I bet you love me too you are so cool so I want can I please have this:

Makeup kit

A yoga

Movies

A paint set

A stuffed animal

Kids perfum

Books

Love,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

I have been so good I have been helping my mom gather bucons for to sell and I have Done all of my homework and helping others in need.

Santa I love Christmas so much and I know what Christmas is all about Christmas is about spinding time with your family and all the love and God’s birthday.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa Clas

I want you to know that you are graet. And I want  you to know how good I’ve been. I have done all my homework. I have feeded my dog.

Santa Clas I love you so, so, so much. I really love you. I’ve been waiting for X-mas. I love X-mas. It’s the goodest holiday. But you’re goodre than X-mas. I love precens but I realisse it’s gooder than to spened time with our family. Please can I Have a Batman car toy and batman toy. And plase can I have a G.I. JOE set. Plese can I Have a  real boxing gloves. Plese can I have a Ninjago the toy and peni.

Love:

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa,

I love you so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much. Santa you are the best Santa ever. And thanks for the elf on the shelf. I hope them cookies and milk I hope them cookies and milk taste good Santa. And thanks for the toys. And I love Christmas so, so, so, so, much Santa. And you aire kises and huges. Please Santa I want hair stufe for my mom’s hair. More toys please. I love you and look on the back.

Love

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Santa

O how I love you are the best person in christgmas. I hope Iz been good and do not get on the note list I hope I get on the good list I hop I get a hell lot of toys games and phones please give me that please I hope I’m really on the good list.

I want a new psp

I want a football game 13

I want a fooball

I want a ipod

I want a iphone

I want a ipad

I want a wwel3

I want baskaball

I want baskaball goal

I want a baseball game

I want cars

I want trucks

I want a rooking chair

I want a spining tooth brush

And did all my homework

Love

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Santa Letters, JDP Edition

Every year, my paper publishes a special section filled with local children's letters to Santa.

I get to type these (that's why they pay me the big bucks).  I'm still only about 329 letters into the stack, mostly penned by area school children and run EXACTLY as written, but I think I've already worn out the Santa-letter welcome for my staff by popping out of my office every 46 seconds to read them an excerpt straight out of the mouths of babes.

Most of them are pretty generic.

They were good this year.

They will leave milk and cookies (or in one case, Dr. Pepper and crackers). 

Please bring a toy for their baby brother. 

You get the idea. 

But some made me LOL. And that's literal, not text-speak.

"I was mostly good this year but mom and the polic ofiser (sic) took care of the rest."

"Did you really see what I did the other night?"

"Dear Santa, I'm really trying to work on the good things."

Some of the letters have been sweet.

"You do good for evryone on erth."

"I hope you remember this letter forever."

"You must be really tired after a long night."

Many inquired after Rudolph, the elves and "Mrs. Claws."

A LOT were a little on the greedy side.

"Dear Santa, Can you please bring me an iPad, an iPod, an iPhone5, a bike, a TV, a puppy and new Nikes?"

"Dear Santa, I don't want much, just a tv, a bike, a new car for my mom, a uno game, a ipod, an ipad, a moster truck, a skateboard, an Xbox, xbox games a Wii U, a 3DSI and a new shirt."

And one even had an unfortunate misspelling when asking for a certain kind of toy. I don't know what they really meant, but I typed it in as asking for a "sox toy." I dunno what else it could have been.

But one letter REALLY got me.

"Dear Santa, Merry cristmas. I have tried to be very good this year. I have tried to be nice. I work hard in school. Can you please bring me a bed to sleep on?"

More Christmas Favorites

Every year, I attempt to downsize the *stuff* involved with Christmas.

I haven't quite succeeded.

Not if you count the four bins, three industrial-sized trash bags (I need to buy a Christmas tree storage bag this year) and the partridge in the pear tree I hauled down from the attic.  Plus the extra tub of ornaments.

I did manage to trim and "recycle" some of the contents of those bins before I decked the halls, but there are some things I will never part with.

The Christmas tree skirt my mom made me the first year I was out on my own - 1994, I think. 

Our kids' Nativity set - my dad built the manger and the figurines are indestructable. Reminds me of the set we had growing up...we played with that all Christmas season.

My favorite Christmas card picture of the boys to date. I didn't pry the back off the frame to see what year it was, but I'm pretty sure it was 2006 or 2007 - so Curt was almost 5 and Luke was 3. One of my sweet students at Trinity Day School gave me the frame that year.

Curt's handprint wreath, created at a Wesley UMC Christmas Crafts Day!

Luke's wreath, also at a Wesley Christmas Crafts Day! 

Luke's hand/foot angel, from his "baby class" at Trinity Play School.

The picture tree!

And the Advent calendar my mom made - a duplicate of the one we had growing up. Since there are five of us kids, we each took turns "turning over" days on the calendar. We quickly figured out that whoever turned over Day 1, also turned over Christmas Day and that was like the grand prize of the Advent calendar. It was probably a fight every year.

I love Christmas!

Saxon Returns

On Friday, while the boys were at school, Saxon returned from the North Pole to spend the Christmas season with us.

That silly elf zip lined into our house - straight from Santa's workshop in the North Pole.

He must have known that one of our favorite adventures of the year was going to New York Zipline last spring.

So that silly elf BUILT. A. ZIPLINE. IN. OUR. HOUSE.

He must have gotten his tools from Santa's workshop.

Wherever he got them, he strung that zipline from Curt's room (somehow sneaking past the security system),

Down the hall,

And into the living room.

Where he had a grand old time zipping back and forth at rates of speed up to 1/2 mph.

He even wrapped himself up in some Christmas lights for his grand entrance.

The boys were amazed when they walked in that evening.

And went straight to work dismantling all Saxon's efforts.

What will that silly elf think of next??